sometimes i get so overwhelmed with all the information and all the to-do’s to give this baby making our very best shot. there is so much to keep up with and track, and so much still to learn. i feel a bit like every moment of my day is spent tracking this sign or that test or popping vitamins or drinking CM enhancing juice… when i’m not doing those things, i’m researching… it’s a lot. since it’s my body that will be doing the work, it’s my job to be in touch with it.
sometimes i get lost in the midst of it all and start feeling very alone. while i understand why i’m doing all this & that ultimately i’m the vessel, so it’s got to be me… sometimes i feel just a little bit disconnected. i start to think i’m the only one that has to think of any of this, i’m the only one that has to care what my CM looks like today or what my temp was this morning, i’m the only one that has to seriously decide if having a drink is worth the possibility of a temperature spike and not having a clear chart…
and then out of the blue my wife adds “lemons for water” to my grocery list. i didn’t think anything of it really. it did seem a bit random, so eventually i asked what spiked her desire to drink lemon water and she said, “well i like it, but i didn’t put it on there for me. i read it’s good for fertility and it’s good to drink when you are pregnant.” she must have thought i was off my rocker, because my jaw dropped. it shouldn’t have been such a surprise, but i was feeling especially lonely in my intense charting & research… and to have her offer that little tidbit, with no prompting, meant so much. she’s in it with me. i know she is, i knew she was… but every once in awhile a little confirmation really helps.
she likes to check my ovulation tests and asks me if i’ve taken my vitamins… and i guess she’ll be putting lemons in my water. we’re only just beginning, but i know how lucky i am to have a partner who wants to be a part of the ride, not just a ride along.
baby dust & lots of love,