seven down, at least seven to go

One week of the two week wait down. FF doesn’t have my test day set until 5.21, as my LP is usually 15-17 days… but I’m (assumed to be) 7dpo today, so I’ll probably plan to test at 14dpo.

I have felt like rubbish the last few days. Since Friday I’ve seemed to get worn out pretty easily, but part of that could just be the sleep disturbances the last several nights. I wake up a lot with reflux and at least once in the middle of the night needing to use the loo… and typically again right around 5:30a, which is super obnoxious seeing as I get up at about 6:15-6:30 and that extra 45-60 minutes means temping early and not going back to sleep. Saturday I was nauseous most the afternoon, tho mild, I was also hungry and assumed they were related feelings. The wife and I went to a burger joint where I proceeded to eat about half my food before I was overcome with extreme nausea and had to leave because I was starting to gag. That lasted a couple hours and by 9p I was much less nauseous, but really tired. Yesterday I felt pretty gross until about 1p, after that I was just a bit tired.

I woke up today feeling the best I have in the last three-four days, so I’m wondering if perhaps I just had a little stomach bug and it’s completely unrelated to any potential hormonal changes that may or may not be happening. Aside from the fact that I’ve had to use the bathroom 5 times in the last 7 hrs, nothing unusual thus far today. Cervix is still high/soft/closed & CM is still scant, what’s there is sticky… which still strikes me as odd as it’s never been like this, so to have it so many days in a row certainly raises an eyebrow.

I feel pretty neutral today. Not necessarily feeling pessimistic, but also not necessarily feeling as optimistic. The last cycle we tried, 7dpo was packed with ‘symptoms’. I had nausea, heavy breasts, cramping, bloating, fatigue… so… basically anything I feel today seems like a wash, easily written off by the same experience when we now know I wasn’t preggers. Frustrating.

The last cycle we tried I had four pregnancy announcements by the time I was 4dpo. This cycle had three pregnancy announcements by the time I was 4dpo… so that’s not helping. Naturally, I’m super happy for all of them (one is one of my best friends who has a 7mth old! She’ll have her hands full, but I’m really sooo excited for her!), but it’s always hard to hear when you’re trying… especially as a kick off to the TWW.

Other than all that, we had a lovely Mother’s Day. Brunch with the in-laws & then my parents came over for some bbq. It was a pretty laid back day, which was really nice. Beans made us a really sweet card at school to accompany the cardinal house he picked out for me and the awesome oil pastel drawing he did of our two cats for the wife. I was impressed with him, this is the first year that he came to us and told us he had decided what he wanted to get/do for each of us and asked to be taken to the store (for my gift) and for help getting supplies (for the wife’s gift). He really put thought into it too. I had been wanting a cardinal feeder since my aunt passed away in January. It’s been said that a visiting Cardinal is a visit from a loved one. I had really not seen Cardinals around until early February this year and this one pretty bird shows up pretty frequently and almost always when I’m thinking of my aunt or needing one of her reminders. So for me, getting that feeder and the big bag of cardinal specific food made me really happy. The wife never had pets growing up, so she’s really really crazy about our two cats – she was meant to be a furbaby momma just as much as she’s meant to be a human baby momma! So the picture he made (on canvas even!) and the very obvious time he spent on it was pretty special.

I spent much of the day wondering if this would be our last mother’s day as mom’s to just Beans… and if we’d find out that a little one was already in existence during this mother’s day.

Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. It’ll be a regular day – I’m working, we’ll go for dinner, and just let the year roll in quietly. I’m hoping, more than anything in the world. that this year of my life brings our 2nd baby. A belated birthday present of a BFP would be the most amazing gift.

j

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